I haven’t written much abut Autumn, who has a wonderful blog and is much more cultured than I think I will ever be. She recently wrote this post that I just want to agree with because it’s worth talking about.
I think that what Autumn said is all completely correct. I think our culture likes to see girls hate each other, especially and most importantly over idiotic things, like boys or things that they like to deem trivial like hair or makeup or clothes, because it just backs up this whole “girls are catty and bitchy” stereotype that both men and women embrace. In fact, I think I’ve even met more women who embrace this idea too (a lot of men just don’t seem to think about it.) The amount of times I have heard girls and even women saying that “girls suck because they’re catty” and “boys are just so much more loyal to each other” is ridiculous. I used to say things like that (but of course, I was about 10 and thought that if someone with HIV touched a door knob and I touched the same one, I would get it too.)
The problem with these attitudes is that they split us apart. They aren’t helpful for us because it’s unhealthy to hate someone and it usually has something to do with bad self-esteem. The more we hate, the more flaws we can find in other people. But that translates to how we view ourselves, and in this world, being under-confident as a woman is pretty much an epidemic. Rarely do I meet people who seem comfortable with themselves before they’re 30.
In addition, we are depriving ourselves of meeting and liking the presence of others if we just call everyone a terrible bitch when we don’t even know them. It’s always good to meet and speak to new people and with this idea in our head, we really can’t. At least, I found it hard to when I actively hated on girls (but denied it to myself all the time.) I try harder to see the girls I disliked for whatever reason as potential friends or cool people to admire, not enemies or bitches just because they’re skinnier or more intelligent than me. And that’s another thing–when I didn’t see people as skinnier or more intelligent than me, I wouldn’t see them as a threat or someone to aspire to be, and therefore I wouldn’t hate them. In retrospect, it’s all very disgusting and counter-productive because either way, I was being judgmental to myself and to other people for being too perfect or not perfect enough.
Rookie had this amazing article on girl hate. I realized that pretty much all I do is reference Rookie and it’s terrible but they pretty much have an article on everything, and considering it’s almost their year-long anniversary, that makes sense.