Quirky

The title of this post is basically what seems to sum up the current equivalent of the mainstream desirable woman, which has now turned from a tanned Californian Barbie esque chick to a pale one with square glasses and bangs who listens to the Smiths (she’s quirky! But never TOO weird!)

I don’t know where this evolution of quirky started–maybe it’s just that people got sick of Barbie look-alikes, hence the end of spray tans and fake blonde hair among female celebrities. She wasn’t hipster or intellectual enough, and plus, wasn’t she, like, bound to get skin cancer anyway? The point was, Jessica Simpson was boring us. She wasn’t enough for the people of today…but have no fear, folks! She’s been replaced with—

Zooey Deschanel! See that great little deck next to her beautifully pale and obviously not Photoshopped face? I read a critique of this issue on Tumblr which said, (and I’m paraphrasing, generally quoting here):

“America, are you ready for a slender, white heterosexual woman on a television show?”

Which is exactly right…who the fuck came up with the idea that these people are actually original or even worse, feminist/innovative? Well, they’re not.  I don’t hate Zooey Deschanel. I quite like her, actually. She’s not easy to hate. The thing I hate is how people describe her/perceive her because the word I hear constantly is “quirky.” I don’t know where people get this idea from. It’s like, “OH GUYS LOOK AT ME I’M ZOOEY DESCHANEL LOOK HOW QUIRKY AND AWKWARD I AM AS I WALK DOWN THIS URBAN STREET WITH MY DARK HAIR FLOWING IN THE WIND AND MY COLLARBONES PROTRUDING WEARING A PAIR OF HIGH WAISTED BLUE PANTS AND A BOW IN MY HAIR AS I LISTEN TO THE SMITHS OH MY GOD I AM SO WEIRD NOBODY GETS ME BUT I DON’T CARE BECAUSE I’M QUIRKY OH MY GOD.”

And what are we supposed to say? “OH MY GOSH I CAN TOTALLY RELATE TO THIS SKINNY PRETTY PERSON WHO I’M SUPPOSED TO LOOK LIKE FINALLY THERE’S SOMEBODY AWKWARD AND WEIRD AND QUIRKY JUST LIKE ME!!!” Except that saying that would be completely illogical. Because Zooey Deschanel is pretty and whatever, it’s cool that she’s awkward. But her being awkward isn’t really what I think when that word pops into my head. I think of stupid freshmen saying crappy things to each other and acne and period blood. I do not think of Zooey Deschanel, which brings us back to our original equation.

From a personal standpoint, I think I’m socially awkward (just like these quirky girls!), but I’m also overweight, have acne, and cuss like a sailor. I am not Zooey Deschanel awkward…I am just, like, fat gross teenage awkward which is completely undesirable and does not make me quirky and cute. I feel like I can relate even less to these “quirky” people because they don’t strike me as such in the first place. I don’t think ANYBODY relates to these people.

I’m sorry, but that’s literally how I feel every single time I see her on TV or something. It’s so irritating. People like Zooey Deschanel are just like other mainstream female celebrities–thin, white, and possibly or possibly not talented (if the first two are super obvious, the last one doesn’t seem to be as important.) As I said, I don’t dislike her or anything she does. I think her band is good and her show is funny, I really couldn’t care less. When she made fun of herself on SNL on the “Quirky Show” I just about died because it was so accurate. The point is how she’s made out by the public to be this “adorable, quirky” girl and it’s just as crappy as the whole Barbie thing in the early 2000’s.

Since when did wearing knee socks and vintage clothes and listening to the Smiths and having bangs make people innovative or cool? That’s like all of high school. People need to catch on and stop making this a huge deal.

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Please understand that this is not a bashing of Zooey Deschanel herself. As mentioned numerous times in the post, it is the way she is portrayed by television and the way she is seen by everyone or the way that everyone likes to see her. There are plenty of other examples of these things in the mainstream media with other celebrities, but she’s the best example out there. Hopefully this will not be taken offensively (if it is taken at all it’d be nice though, thanks for reading!!)

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